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New Albany, Indiana, United States

Monday, July 7, 2014

Obsessive thoughts.....

I've not written in a while, again! I know, I know. But, really there hasn't been much to write about. As most of you already know. I was discharged from therapy a while ago as I was doing so well, and to be quite honest had nothing else to talk about. I've worked through all of my feelings of the things that happened in my past. I stopped seeing my psyc doc because I wanted to wean myself off of the medication I was on. I wanted to feel again. It was a very LONG process, but I finally did it. With that comes the real feelings that I wanted so badly to feel again. Don't get me wrong, I am better and the past no longer bothers me. I am doing pretty great, considering. I haven't had a vivid dream/nightmare for some time. So, that is great.

The problem, the obsessive thoughts have come back. And, in full force. There are many techniques I can use to try to rid myself of these thoughts. They don't work very well for me though. What works for some, doesn't work for others. I've found myself obsessing over the silliest and stupidest of things. Things I wouldn't be able to control anyway, if they were even actual problems. Which, they are not. So, friends and family, please bare with me while I try to get through the obsessive stage of this mess. After all that is part of the PTSD and OCD.

I do believe that some it has to do with the stress of buying a new house and dealing with the loan company for so long. Can it be over already?! I am so ready to move into our beautiful new home. I know it takes a while and I didn't expect it to happen over night, but it just feels like it is dragging out FOREVER. Once we move and get settled and the stress of that is over, I believe that some the of obsessiveness with calm down.

With all of that being said. Friends and family, like I said, please be patient with me. When I go through these things I tend to shut people out. I really don't do it on purpose, but really? Who wants to be around a downer. I know I sure wouldn't want to be. I don't even like being with myself and my thoughts right now as it is. I promise nothing has to do with any of you all. So, if I get to where I am not calling you or coming by to spend time, don't take it personally. I always need that time to myself to sort through the thought processes that are going on in this silly brain of mine.

I am more than positive that in no time I will be just fine and dandy, once all of the high stress is gone and we can move forward......

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