I have tried to keep my cool all day. I really have. Ran into some issues this morning and I swear if I could have gotten through that phone this morning I would have choked a few people. I've noticed people are giving a shit less about one another. I mean, were is the compassion, love, sincerity? Its non existent (well, most of the time). I've been trying hard for so long to keep my anger in check and I have been doing a fairly good job at it. At this point I just feel like there is no more holding back. People are pissing me the hell off. I know, I know. We control how we handle things but damn, do people have to make it so hard to be nice to them.
Not even to mention what my piece of shit sperm donor has pulled lately. By the way he has tried to call me once, the first of December. First time in a year. Of course I didn't answer because I have nothing to say to him. He called my brother bitching, asking him why I don't talk to him anymore. See, this is what he does. Its a pattern. The funny part is. I have always been the forgiving one. The one who took his side when he pulled his shit and tried to talk my sister and brother into talking to him. And, to try to understand him better. Gah, was I a fucking fool! I should have just left and ran away when I had the chance, then I wouldn't have had to live through the hell he put me through and maybe I would be a little less angry! Anyway, after that he decided to sent me and Jace a card in the mail. For Christmas. I started to put return to sender on it but opened it for shits and giggles. It only pissed me off worse. Oh, don't get me wrong. The card "to his daughter" was quite a beautiful card with the nicest saying on it. Then he writes "I wish you would call me, or tell me why you won't talk to me". Ha! Seriously! Hmmmm, let me think. Because you are a selfish asshole who only thinks of himself and when you get a new woman in your life you drop your kids like a bad habit! Fuck off!
This man makes me angry. More angry than anything in this world. To top it all off he did something he shouldn't have and I won't say because I want to protect the privacy of another family member. But, its sorry as hell you can't be there for your own family when they are in the middle of a fucking crisis. You can't drop your new family to help your "old" one that wouldn't affect your life that much! Not even to mention that you have been going around buying fucking pills! I bet your precious wife doesn't know about that! Go ahead. Stay hooked on your pills, hide shit from your wife, wait for her to leave you and then try crawling back to your family. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, BUDDY!
Besides all of this. It really pisses me off when people email me and ask me to do photos for them for dirt cheap. Not only for them but for their entire family. Um, hell no! I am worth more than that. I have to pay bills and survive just like the rest of you. So, people want me to spend all my time photographing their special moments with their families to be away from mine and pay me nothing. Ha. That's fucking hilarious. I don't work for free and when I do its for a good cause and its because someone has touched my heart. Not just because you think you are entitled to "cheaper" photos or that I am "way too expensive". If that is the case I can send you to someone who is dirt cheap whose photos look like shit. How about that?!
I will end by saying this. I am tired of petty people. I won't tolerate any of you, anymore. If you deleted from my friends list you will know why. I am tired of the dumbness, the constant postings on facebook that say if you love Jesus hit like, if not you like the devil. Seriously, that's just fucking dumb. I don't mind that you believe, doesn't bother me a bit. But, you post that or oh praise the lord he is so good to me and so on and so fourth and then the weekend rolls around and you are in photos throwing up your gang signs, smoking doobies, and drinking with next to no clothes on. Find some clothes and take care of your damn kids instead of partying every night of your life. Teach some real values.
Well, I guess that is all I have to bitch about for now. Stay tuned for more rants in the future. I will be sure not to disappoint.
PS. For the love of all humanity, if you do not agree with anything I have said. Do not like my use of profanity, or I have offended you then get the hell off my page because I don't care to hear about it!
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